Another great question I truly enjoy these daily questions/thoughts. After a trying day at work, I have a few rituals that help me unwind.

First, I like to hit the gym. Fortunately my apartment complex has a nice gym and 65 minutes and nearly 3 miles on the treadmill gets my blood pumping. For these workouts, I have a playlist called “Ants Super Workout”, loaded with songs across many genres that are all fast. The music takes me into my own world and truly motivates me. I also do a 20 minute workout with dumbbells and other machines doing several superset reps on each. Then I drag myself back up to my apartment for the next ritual.

I draw up as hot a bath as I can stand and drop a bath bomb or two in and soak away the pain and sweat from my workout. I then dry off and prepare for the next ritual.

I cook myself dinner and enjoy it while streaming some great shows on my tv. I have a quesadilla maker (recent Amazon purchase) that allows me to cook up some low carb tortillas and veggies and cheese for a tasty meal.

At that time I write some, check my blog (here), and often talk with friends in the evenings. Also I try and recall what I was grateful for that occurred that day.

Performing these steps/rituals/habits whether I have a good day or a bad one, assures each one ends great.

-aaa

I love social media and use it for what I believe are the healthiest reasons.

I use it to stay in touch with family, friends, present and past coworkers, college classmates, and even some classmates going back to kindergarten.

I repost motivational quotes and imagery I encounter. I also use it as a sort of diary sharing my highs and lows with the closest people to me. I share photos and my adventures and trips as well.

Sharing these moments and memories really makes them all the more real for me.

Lastly I share my revelations and lessons learned in the hopes that my past mistakes might help others.

-aaa

Interesting question as usual. The first thought I had today is wondering what I’ll write in here.

I use a combination of previously written material of mine often augmented with new writings.

I am truly challenged and enjoy using my creativity to meet the need for more and more material for hopefully several books of poetry, ideas, and crazy stories from my craft life. 😊

-aaa

Another intriguing question and I’ll answer it in my own unique way like I always do.

I’m a very sensitive empathetic human being and I pretty much wear my vulnerability around me like armor or lack there of.

As a result, lots of people tend to feel sharing many aspects of their life with me. It’s like they just trust me and feel they can reveal their innermost, secrets, desires, fears, etc..

It’s never been I just except that people will talk to me sometimes and these people are pretty much perfect strangers to me.

I think that everybody looks for someone they can trust even if it’s someone they don’t know that they need to share something with so they’re just not sharing it alone with themselves. I don’t mind being that person.

-aaa

I past decision I made that has forced more growth than a good part of my life before was to leave and divorce my most recent lesson (ex wife).

It was a toxic relationship pretty much from the start. Loving a covert narcissist will really crush your very existence down to your soul itself. Finding your way out I’ve analogized as similar to trying to find your way out of a casino very difficult and you get lost for a long time.

Leaving meant not saying goodbye to many people I really cared about deeply and missed this day. However, divorce is ugly and vindictive. People will use children, grandchildren, and other relatives and friends against you.

Leaving met embracing a ton of change I’d say at least 10 or 15 significant changes in my life since an including leaving and divorcing my most recent ex-wife. And that is the point of this response, change.

I have been through more change in the last 27 months that I have in probably the 50 years before that. Immense growth immense opportunity for success and greatness and failure all at the same time my mantra throughout this process “just keep going “.

The greater the change, the greater the challenge, the greater the reward. A lot of this journey was pretty vertical, but that’s where the changes are and I would do it again the same way. Taking control of your life and happiness is something we all have to do and sometimes we have to take very drastic steps to achieve it so lots and lots of change.

Thank you for reading until next time, adieu.

-aaa

This is yet another interesting query. I like many, am going the abstract route here. I will never ever ever ever ever (lots of evers lol) fall in love with a narcissist ever again. No  amount of love, sacrifice, time, or anything, will make them turn around and love you back. They’re just not capable of it. 

Unfortunately in my younger years I did not know or enforce (boundaries) my true worth and as a result I spent the better part of 30 years in three long (8-10 years each) serious (2 marriages and 1 long engagement) relationships. All three were narcissists in different ways but the results were the same (A broken heart and wallet at the relationship’s end).

Now after a lot of healing and soul searching (2-3 years several books read and journals written) I know my value, have self love, and some firm healthy boundaries, to assure that I never go back to those toxic soul destroying relationships.

-aaa

This is a great question. I have many family members and friends whose contributions throughout my life have been immensely positive and influential. Today I choose to talk about the closest person to me in my entire lifetime. My godmother/favorite aunt.

My godmother was my dad’s sister, and she was an integral part of my life pretty much from when I was born until her far too soon death at age 50.

She was that favorite aunt the one that would watch my sister and I every time my parents will go out of town or take a trip and we had the best time. We got to stay up later than normal. We got to eat a lot of special treats. We normally get to have. It was wonderful, in fact, I was almost bummed when My came home.

My godmother loved playing games board games in card games even video games (Astrosmash, David’s Midnight Magic, Sammy Lightfoot, and Apple IIe Olympic Decathlon). We’d play: cootie bug, Yahtzee, Scrabble, Sorry, Candyland, checkers, chess, backgammon, Pictionary, gin rummy, double solitaire,Spirograph, and many other games. My love of the rules and playing games the right way came from my godmother because she was a stickler for the rules.

And playing games such as Pictionary my aunt and I were a very difficult team to beat because we could almost read each other’s minds and guess drawings with very little information on the piece of paper. We had the same sense of humor and liked similar stand-up comedians.

Her love of the ocean, pool, swimming, and water also became mine and still is to this day. ❤️ 🌊

My godmother was very brave on the side. She sang back ups and a little Elvis outfit called memories of Elvis. I know she was very shy and yet she went out there and even went on tour with the band several times it reminds me when I get nervous myself taking new steps in my life to go for it like she did.

We’d watched Grease 2 (I know I’m sorry) 100 times. I don’t know why she just loved the movie. I remember she recorded with the tape recorder some of the songs and then we went to the pool we’d sing along.

One of the best parts about my aunt was that she like I was an empath. Therefore, I could be a sensitive and odd as I wanted to be, and I’d be normal around her. she was far more sensitive than I am and I guess I’m thankful for that for if I was any more sensitive, I’d probably go crazy. Even some of her fear is carried over to me for a time. She was always very afraid of storms and lightning and thunder and so was I for a small period of time. She was so afraid, that she’d call me and ask me, “when the storm was going to pass” because I’d always know as I’d have a Weather app open or the Internet up or something.

Being a unique individual is not always been easy for me. I am not always fit in with the crowd of my peers and often was shunned for it so when I was 14 and most of the people I knew were dating I really didn’t have anywhere to go or anyone to do things with sometimes. My aunt knew this and would take me out on a family date. We go out to Whittier and go see Nana and have dinner over at Ruby’s Frosty freeze. It made me feel like a normal kid. She did that for me and it was so huge as I didn’t have a lot of friends and I didn’t measure up like the other kids. She made it so I felt OK anyway.

She had the greatest influence on my taste of anybody in my life. Bands that she loved I love such as: The Beatles, Billy Joel, Fleetwood Mac, Stevie wonder, the Little River Band, Elton John, the Electric Light Orchestra, The Beach Boys, Brian Wilson, Hall & Oates, Dan Fogelberg, and many others. I’m sure my wanting to be a musician and being one for many years also came from her influence. When I was unsure about my abilities as a musician, she reminded me that Brian Wilson of The Beach Boys was told by his music teacher in high school that he would never amount anything and look at all the beautiful music he created. 

I recall hearing a lot of those bands on the radio in her car when she’d take me on adventures when i was young. She took me to Penn Park, where we saw the swans. In the summer times she take me to the Whittier Public library and I spent hours in the wading pool. She took me to the greatest record store on earth (It doesn’t exist anymore) Tower Records.

So, when her time was up on this earth (nearly 20 years ago), I tried pay tribute to her the best I could. I eulogized her talking about a lot of things that are in here. A lot of my gentle nature, my caring, and loving of other people all come from her. She showed me that it was OK to be soft and sensitive even if I am a guy and it’s not easy being a sensitive man.

I can see a lot more, but if this gets too long, no one’s ever gonna read it I know how these blogs work. So I want to say one final thing and it’s going to sound weird to those of you that are not familiar. One day, Marian and Martian in the space cadets (our little group comprised of my Godmother my sister and I) will be reunited again. I thank you for who I am and who I’m becoming.

Rest peacefully,

Your loyal co-Space Cadet

-aaa ❤️❤️❤️

Well it depends I have favorite restaurants depending on the cuisine of course so I’ll break my answer down in that way. I’ll share four different cuisines: Steakhouse/Fine Dining, Japanese Cuisine, Buffet, and Mediterranean Cuisine. Read ahead and have napkins handy as drooling is a definite possibility. 😂

Steakhouse/Fine Dining

Steaks basted and butter and cooked in 1200° ovens what’s not to like? The price is up there, but it’s worth it. The food is very good as the service.

Japanese Cuisine

Definitely the best Japanese food I’ve ever had in my life. The sushi was exquisite and the lobster was unbelievable. The price is way up there but again it’s worth it. I once had a whole main lobster that was basically the meat removed and deep-fried in tempura batter and then placed back inside the shell and about 15 different delicious sauces surrounded the lobster. The presentation was gorgeous and absolutely delicious.😋

Buffet

Lots of delicious food from all parts of the world, fantastic crab, legs, prime, rib, and other delicious foods desserts are unbelievable and plenty of everything that anybody might like. At $85 a person it definitely cost some money but again worth it good food is worth the price.😋

Mediterranean Cuisine

So the best Mediterranean cuisine I’ve had anywhere all styles are here Greek, Middle Eastern, Armenian little bit of everything.  prices aren’t bad. It’s a good size restaurant indoor and outdoor dining downtown Brea, right near beautiful parts of town.😋

-aaa

Now this is a fun question.

In 10 years I will have at least 2 books published, hopefully on it approaching the best seller list.

I will be contented living in a relationship comprised of mutual love, mutual respect, and mutual appreciation for the first time in my life.

I will also be living the most financial secure I’ve ever been, traveling frequently and enjoying the adventures.

The answers to questions I didn’t have will be completed and understood to my full satisfaction.

My journeys will be for many to share and see, and hopefully, learn to not repeat my mistakes.

Lastly I hope my family and friends are still around and part of the joy I’ll be experiencing.

-aaa ❤️❤️

This is an excellent question and it brings about some philosophical questions as well.

For a large part of my life, I believed that happiness was a place to get to or something dependent on someone else. I’ve learned that I was wrong, happiness is a choice and that love is a destination of mutual respect and admiration. Separating my happiness from a dependency on love or being loved is one of the most crucial masteries my life. Now the philosophy lesson aside, let’s get into the meat and potatoes of the question for today.

I will rework my answer to the question, Five everyday items that contribute to the wellbeing of my happiness, are:

1) Music

It is playing pretty much all day as I do my work, walking, driving, bathing, sunning myself, working out , or even in my head when nothing is playing out loud. I have very good tastes crossing a variety of genres. I often dream in it and adore it. Headphones, Bluetooth Speakers etc, my music is always playing. 🎵 🎼 🎶

2) Playing on My Piano/ Arranging Music

Since a young age I’ve had the ability to play piano by ear. I can also imitate what I see and hear and do my own takes on music. Some songs come along easy in an instant while others have taken me years to figure out. I first realized I had this gift at age 8 when I played Mary Had a Little Lamb in every possible key and octave across the piano. My repertoire has grown since then to more significant songs like Imagine by John Lennon and Colour My World by Chicago and some Beatle songs like Hey Jude and Because. These activities really utilize my creativity, and as a result, alleviate a lot of my stress, anxiety or even anger. 🎹🎹

3) The Smell of Rain (petrichor)

That intoxicating scent when rain first starts to fall and things just start to get wet is unbelievable. And it’s a little different everywhere but it’s also the same in the mountains, in the desert, and by the sea. it just does something to me close my eyes and it just is so refreshing. It’s almost like it clarifies me inside I I feel very grounded in the presence of water and rain is no exception. ☔️ 🌧️

4) Writing of all Kinds

Aside from music my other great passion in life has always been writing a pretty young age, I want say maybe six or seven I’ve been writing in one way or another. Areas of writing that I love to do include: poetry (which includes: free verse, various rhyming iambic pentameters, haiku, Raiku, limerick, and sonnet), short stories, literary analysis, music analysis, essays/term papers, and technical writing, (which includes: user guides, operations manuals, business continuity plans, lesson plans, training guides, best practices, system requirements, and many others). It’s very strange when I write it’s sort of stream of consciousness. I almost go into a trance and then when I come out of it, everything‘s down on paper or computer or phone or laptop.

5) My Apartment

No, I’m not a materialist by any means, but I just love my apartment. I love its decor, furniture, furnishings and amenities, and everything on the walls. I basically designed the whole decor of my place and it’s really a reflection of me and my taste and what I love. Ergo, my apartment is my sanctuary and is basically just a very large extension of me. Also, this is the first place of mine that I’ve lived in that has all of my choice, decor and things in it so truly is my place. 🏠🏠🏠

A lot of the items listed above work in concert with one another. As a result, everything is sort of tied together on my list, except for the rain of course that can happen anywhere.

-aaa

I learned a great many things in high school, in this case I’ll focus on leadership.

I was the captain of the drum line and very active in the music program at my high school. I learned that the best way to lead was by example. I could read music fairly well (still can) so I would learn and memorize my parts then I’d assist the other percussionists that could not read their parts. I’d read their parts and then teach them through repetition (rote), until they memorized theirs as well.

I’d also had a few years of practical marching band experience so I would assist them with their esprit decor so they marched correctly stay and step and kept the lines perfectly straight.

I also learned a great deal about responsibility as in when things didn’t go correctly I would get screamed at in front of the band. so I had a incentive to make the drums as good as they could possibly so that we wouldn’t get yelled at. Sometimes I succeeded other times I failed but in the end, we became very good and won some pretty serious trophies during my tenure.

The best lessons I learned in high school where that leadership not only comes with demonstrating by example, but also taking responsibility whether it was just or unjust. it really made me grow up and a lot of the lessons I learned I carried on in life.

-aaa

No fair, describe one positive change in my life? I’ve made so many and each was important. As I recollect, (on my journey) I can see the big changes I made that led to even more progress and changes.

The ‘big kahuna/mothership’ on my journey was learning that love starts within each of us and hence learned to love myself. I have struggled most of my life to achieve this and it took a lot of effort on my part to get there.

As I was navigating a minefield in the rapid exodus (most recent and toxic) of my marriage I had to find it, the strength the inner power to extricate myself. I started journaling and writing daily affirmations to myself. I built myself up became a friend to me and realized at the time it was what I’d been missing all of my life. These love letters to me at first seemed foreign but I persevered and I believed it had reread them often. Though I feel the experience was mildly odd (talking to one’s self or writing in my case) I kept going and it worked. I ultimately escaped that toxic life and will finish paying for it soon (2 alimony payments remain).

Fast forward two years and change (2 months) to present day and I’m living my best life (I guess it began at 50 for me), working a job I love, trying to get my blog going finally (just 3 weeks and change in), I feel peace and grace often, people are in my life or arrive in it because I want them to.

The old adage “You cannot truly love someone if you do not first love and accept yourself” is beyond true but I have my own twist on this. “It all starts with us, if you do not love yourself, don’t expect your partner/significant other to.” This is the lesson which I lived and learned over and over again in the hardest way possible over 28 years.

Love yourself, your weird, odd, eccentric, one of a kind self. You are beautiful and amazing and the mild was definitely tossed away after they created you. ❤️

-aaa