⚠️Warning ⚠️

Caution, these are my humble opinions from my experience and my lessons learned with women, etc. is it not facts? Is it not generalizations, rather just an opinion of this guy. lol

Now I need to share some of my approaches and philosophies of sex and love at this time. I know that those first moments of intimacy are the best and are truly beyond fun and amazing. 

First, women control sex, period, end of story no if’s ands or butts, unless they allow it. We as men have to know and accept this and not try to change it because it will never change. The best thing to treat your significant other as well as possible consistently. Make his/her dreams come true and then you will get those intimate physical moments that us men live on and starve without. Treat your partner the way you would want to be treated, but better. Respect and comfort are critical. Most if not all women think they look hideous. It’s not true and you must do all you can to dispel these negative image thoughts because they will hinder you in the bedroom. Build your woman up, tell her she looks amazing and that you feel amazing just standing next to her. Be honest, of course because that should be true or why are you even with her in the first place? 

Plan things out, the perfect dinner, the best time she can have. Drive her, open all doors and order for her at the restaurant after she shares what she wants. Women want a man that can be confident and in control and demonstrate that you can be without being over-bearing. They want to feel safe and know that their needs are being met in every way. You need to help her feel well enough to get naked with you and that’s no small task. I’m an empath and still struggle with the details and keep in mind even if you do everything perfectly it can and often still will not go the way you would like, but that is ok. You will be closer to her for this and she will receive a lot of intimacy even if you don’t and this will bode well for you in the future.

Women are complex amazingly challenging creatures and any number of things in their own minds can take sex out of the picture even if you do your best to help reassure them that they are safe, sexy and beautiful. If this happens, and it will (a lot), just enjoy the moment and quality time you spend together. And believe, me she will remember, and it is a good time to appreciate each other’s company. Sex should never be a goal, it should be an ideal or a place you’d like to get to and if you enjoy and appreciate each other, you will get there at least occasionally. That’s as good as it will get. The grand creator has a great sense of humor. Men are made hungry and women are made thirsty. It is difficult to create a perfect meal that both can enjoy, and sometimes its almost a happy accident. Enjoy it when it happens. In the meantime, treat women the way you know they deserve to be treated not just because they control sex and all physical love but because they will protect and help you too if you help them feel save and empowered.

What about other people, you say! “Joey Schlamoze gets sec every night and Lanie Schlamaze always makes love to her man…” Do not compare, of course you are going to see and hear the best from others because they want you to despise them and want their life. They don’t tell you about the times their partner(s) hit them or have psychological issues. They do not tell you that sex is the only love they know and have. The adage never gets lost that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. In reality, life doesn’t give most of us even remotely close to what we want, but some are great at masking it making their lives seem ideal. Its all a façade, the happiest sounding people often are far from it. They just want others to envy their life. Worry about your own happiness and keep your lawn (life) healthy always doing what is best for you and your own happiness.

            Ok sex, this is not going to be explicit, at all. I am not Dr. Ruth, nor do I claim to be an expert in anything. This is just my philosophy on sex. I cannot emphasize this enough as it bears repeating, in heterosexual relationships women control sex. Any men attempting to control sex in heterosexual relationships are likely misfits in society and need to be taken out and put away someplace very safe and secure for a long long time. Now, believe it or not we spent a lot of time already taking about women and sex. It is all about how they feel in general and at the time. You want your partner to feel safe with you. You want her to feel cherished beautiful and sexy whether she is thin like a rail or curvy and cute. Appreciate all over her, this starts with her mind. Nothing is sexier than a smart strong-minded woman. Man-up and allow her to be strong, embrace it and have no fear. She is with you that should tell you all you need to know. Listen to what she says with words and her body and you will please her as much as she can stand. Then definitely stop, when she tells you to. 

            Do not worry about your pleasure, if she is feeling, happy, safe, appreciated, fulfilled she will turn that on you. And believe me, you will also feel happy and very appreciated afterwards. That is, it simple, it is all about the woman’s mind. You need to help her feel attractive, safe and secure, and as long as the planets align (it takes that too sometimes) she will let you have her… 

Even if not, you are doing it right, keep in mind there are a million factors that need to be satisfied for sex to happen, and there’s a better than good chance some of them will prevent it from happening. This happens (a lot), do not think it is you or a lack of attraction. It could be anything from a woman feeling heavy because she didn’t like the way a dress looked on her to a model in a magazine article that makes her feel ugly. Never give up hope and do not blame yourself or you’ll go down a rough road that may never end. Take care of you when you need that, she will understand or should as you need a safe harmless release more often than not as we as men need ‘physical affection’. Women do not, remember that…

thank you for reading.

-aaa

Originally Published 06/05/2024