Have I ever been camping? that’s very good question, I have to go back many years to recall when I last went camping. I can recall a pretty unforgettable story from childhood, when I was 10.

Once summer at age 10, I went camping with family and friends at the state beaches near Ojai California. We camped out at a beach and park with campsites called “El Capitan”. We enjoyed a great week out there there. Places where the mountains and beach meet are truly a wondrous and beautiful.

It was great, there was a lot of bodyboarding baseball, pickle, and over-the-line. The campfires, outdoor eats, and late night board games. Gorgeous skies so clear you can see the nebula within the Milky Way galaxy. Plus, there were numerous hiking trails we all did as well. Culminating with the family talent show at the end of the week at the outdoor amphitheater next to the campground. The week went by so fast it felt like it was over in a day.

So as the trip came to an end we made our way home. This is where the main part of my story begins. pretty much from the first night we got home my right arm started to itch. Initially, there was no rash or anything that I could, it just itched. I figured it was a mosquito bite or something, the itching wasn’t too bad so I went to bed.

Starting the next day, the itching grew and got to be unbearable on my arm. Now it looked like a scratch that maybe got infected. As I had two dogs residing in my room at the time it seemed possible, or maybe a flea bite. So my mom (like any mom at the ) put Benadryl cream on it sending me on my way. This of course ultimately wouldn’t work.

My itching got much worse and it seemed like the scratches were on both of my arms now. The itching had grown so bad that I couldn’t sleep at this point and hadn’t in a couple of days. Nothing worked or could ease it or bring me comfort . Finally, my mom made an appointment and took me to the pediatrician.

Immediately, she knew what was going on with very little examination. She explained the markings on my skin and the intense itching were a dead giveaway. She opens a cabinet looks through a couple of small boxes and produces two brochures which she hands to my mom and myself. Reading the heading on its cover, a word quickly jumps forward, “S-C-A-B-I-E-S”!

I don’t know, how our said narrator at the tender age of ten contracted a “social disease”? I don’t know how I got it (maybe the bathroom or showers at the campground). Reading the literature that was offered in these pamphlets regarding scabies was beyond disturbing, especially for any nine-year-old.

**Warning Graphic Description Coming Up** 😬😬😬😬

For an instant itching seemed worse when I read my pamphlet and found out what scabies really were. Apparently, (I’m no doctor and if I get this wrong please consult a Grey’s anatomy book for proper definition) there were little spider-like mites, crawling in my skin, eating my skin, laying eggs, and burrowing through creating the trails that looked like scratches. OK, I know, I’m sorry some of you are probably feeling a little disgusted and itchy at this point, trust me I am too. I lived it. 😬🤣

Shaking off the shock and disgust of my (very) local infestation, we make our way to the attached pharmacy. We drop off the prescription and wait about 10 minutes for my name to be called. What I’m supposed to get was a topical cream to ease with the itching and a cream I had to put on overnight to dispose of my unwelcome little invaders.

I sit and wait contemplating the fact that I was essentially being eaten from the inside at that moment. I reread my newly acquired literature and shuddered again at the artistic renderings of these little monsters. My name or number comes up, and my mother and I go to pick up the prescriptions.

Apparently, the pharmacy has a sense of humor, or they made a grave mistake. My topical cream had instructions printed on the box which read, “Apply liberally to rash on groin every four hours!” I looked at my mom and I said “I don’t think the scabies have gotten that far yet” earning me the familiar disapproving look from my mom. I guess my gift at saying the inappropriate started well before age 10, and continues to this day.

My mom and I had to go to the clerk and explain this “groin cream” was obviously given to me by mistake. Apparently the clerk also found the situation rather humorous as well. He asks us to wait while he walks to the back of the pharmacy. He first confers with a pharmacist and they inspect the box, read it and I can see both are laughing. The clerk then confers with a second pharmacist and they’re both laughing as well. I’m starting to wonder if he’s going to do a show and tell for the entire hospital, when he finally returns to us. Informing us the ingredients in the “groin cream” were identical to the topical and that I can apply it to my arms to ease the itching. Embarrassment aside, I didn’t care if this was vaginal cream, I was going to end the itching here and now. Though I did ask for a bag for concealment to prevent anyone else from reading my graphic groin cream instructions before we got out to the parking lot. Bag in my hand, we went home.

As soon as we got home, I applied my groin cream (liberally) to my arms. This ended the itching and I felt relief for the first time in four days. I then would take one of most satisfying naps of my life. Later, before bed, I applied the overnight cream which would permanently take care of my little invaders.

A few weeks later the scratch marks disappeared thankfully before school started. There’d be no need to explain what they were or where they came from.

Needless to say, I only went camping one more time ever after my ‘close encounter’ and frankly, I’m not surprised.

Have a great evening and the you for reading.

-aaa 😊