Hyacinth looked in the mirror
But her reflection wasn’t too clear.
–
She’s blind in two classes
Then she put on her glasses.
–
And promptly took them off in fear…
-aaa
Blurry Isn’t Always Bad
Category: Limerick
Excremental Zoo
I went with my Boy Scout Troop
To the zoo for a badge as proof.
–
The monkeys were wild
Every man, woman, and child.
–
Nearby were covered in poop…
-aaa
Writing Life
Writing poetry isn’t very easy
As inspiration strikes we’re busy.
🤪
Placing words together that rhyme
Like “time”, “slime”, and “mime”
🤪
To compose a limerick that’s not cheesy.
-aaa
Clubbing Manifesto
Tony was from Rowland Heights
He’d rest all day and party nights.
–
Then he’d groan and roll over
Each morning with a hangover.
–
Donning his periwinkle tights.
-aaa
Pabst Smile
Phil enjoys the taste of beer
So much, his mouth changed its veneer
–
As the beer suds mellowed
All his teeth were yellowed
–
Every morning, he gargles Pabst, I hear…
-aaa
Brain Scratching
I can’t write anything new
No matter what I say or do
–
My brain is scratching
Creativity isn’t catching
–
Maybe a haiku will do…
-aaa
Toupee Away!
There once was a woman from Spaulding
Who’s husband was rapidly balding
–
So she bought him a cheap wig
Slapping lipstick on a pig.
–
Though his appearance is still quite appalling…
-aaa
Billy The Dud
Billy knows he’s an absolute stud
To the ladies, he’s more of a crud.
–
With a patchouli spray
And leisure suit on display.
–
He looks like an absolute dud…
-aaa
Frankensteina
Short tempered teacher sits at her loom
Creating a dark aura of gloom.
–
Her students remained frightened
Since her bolts need to be tightened.
–
So the classroom is filled with such doom.
-aaa
Pirate Agitate
Rex the pirate was very sad
Without new adventures to be had
–
So he renamed his barge
The SS Arrrrrrgggggggg
–
Then hauled a$$ to Islamabad…
-aaa
Seeds…
There once was a bloke from Leeds
That came upon some seeds
–
Pondering what was found
Inserting himself in the ground 🙄
–
He later moved on to seedier deeds…
-aaa
Lady Limerix
Lady Limerix is her name.
Composing poetry, is her game.
–
She writes silly prose.
While darning her hoes.
–
By wildness standards, she’s not very tame.
-aaa
Lilly Livered Larry
Lilly Livered Larry made his way down the street
Snarky expressions to everyone he’d meet.
–
He had nothing nice to say
As the world was in his way.
–
If karma hits he’ll trip over his feet.
-aaa
Carrot Parrot
Long ago I had a parrot
That was very obsessed carrots.
–
He’d screech and he’d squawk
In human and parrot talk.
–
Instead I should’ve gotten a ferret…
-aaa
The Crapper
Sir Thomas Crapper was his name
Toilets and U joints were his game.
–
Though his plumbing designs were toilet’s answer
He succumbed too soon to colon cancer.
–
In memorium the loo now bears his name.
-aaa
Sir Squonk
Sir Squonk the dilettante was stubborn and true
With no self proclaimed limits to what his mind could do.
–
This immodest expert on all
Couldn’t tell spring from fall.
–
As the seasons were not his milieu.
-aaa
Non-Prissy Missy
https://www.deviantart.com/madartwork42
I know an artist named Missy
Who is anything but prissy.
–
She makes art ever-reaching
When she’s not busy teaching.
–
So she always keeps herself busy…
-aaa
Lady Misery
There once was a lady from town
Whose face always wore a frown.
–
No humor or concession
Can change her complexion.
–
She looks like a sad-faced clown…
-aaa
Lord of the Trashcans
There once in the city lived a man
Residing in a large garbage can.
–
He danced and then hopped
Over refuse and slop.
–
Since that was his life’s grand plan…
-aaa
Shrew Askew
We all know someone who’s a total shrew
But there is little that we can do
–
Just complaining all the time
About the weather and crime
–
And her elder sister lives in a shoe.
-aaa
Time and Words
Once upon a Wednesday time
The author couldn’t find a rhyme
🔍
Near and far he’d search
But was left in a lurch
🔍
Is he no longer in his prime?
-aaa
Writer’s Process, Everything
There once was an empathetic writer
In a blitz of creativity pulled an all-nighter.
📚
Writing haikus and prose
That tickled his nose.
📚
Not even writer’s bloque can stop this fighter…
-aaa
