Tag: manipulation

I Was Disgustingly Yours

Anthony6 Comments

I once was yours 

In that vain 

Endless chores

Pouring rain.

–

Hateful notions

Thrown at me 

Lackluster devotion

In an empty sea.

–

Promises given 

But never delivered

Agendas hidden

Coldness shivered 

–

Heartless mental abuse 

At your very hands 

In my pain you’d amuse 

Making other sticky plans.

–

Inside was out 

And outside in 

Matriarchal clout 

Cold ice within.

–

You though you were clever

That I’d eternally chomp at the bit

Until I saw never, your forever

Then I wised up and quit.

–

Less and less I look back 

All the lessons have been learned

I greatly suffered from your lack

Someday, your karma will be returned…

-AAA 10/09/2024

Nearsighted Heart

Anthony2 Comments

My heart he needs four eyes instead of two

A bad case of myopia, is why I loved you.

–

Things you said and did, led me one way 

While the true intentions were astray.

–

All the while, did my best to cope 

Wishing for kindness, my ultimate hope.

–

Hopes are great unless unfulfilled 

And ultimately, my love was killed.

–

Even sporting glasses my heart closed off 

Further and further facing scoff.

–

In front of the kids, private conversations 

Subjected to endless emasculations.

–

I thought you were sweet and such a honey 

In the end all me you loved was my money.

–

Cold hearted ridicule

Everyday I was a fool.

–

The worst temper with a hair trigger

No matter what was said, her anger got bigger.

–

In the end all things ran their course

As my nearsighted heart and I got a divorce.

-AAA 09/05/2024

Narcissist

AnthonyLeave a comment

N agging

A mbivelant

R eve he

C old hearted

I nnocent of everything, in their mind 

S iren luring you into the rocks

S ullen

I gnonymous

S anctimonious 

T yrannical 

-AAA 08/20/2024

Married and Divorced to Ms Cruelty

Anthony1 Comment

She wouldn’t inflate his ego.

It just wasn’t her to be that kind.

She’d rather see him fall down.

As flat on his face as possible.

–

She wouldn’t let a single soul talk down to him

At the first word, she was a furious defender.

He mistook this for love and care.

In reality, putting him down was only her indulgence, and no one else’s.

–

She wouldn’t be intimate with him, ever.

She’d give every excuse from fibromyalgia to menopause.

He felt she was simply only attracted to his money.

He was right because she saved all her intimacy for her ex husband.

–

She’d instigate many fights at the expense of his dignity.

She’d mercilessly push him to his tipping point.

Then get mad at him for his reaction to her barrage of incendiary statements.

Then when he’d walk away to end the argument, she’d fire off another volley, a parting shot, “go pout”.

–

She didn’t care whether he lived or died.

His illnesses and complications from Diabetes were his problem.

Any symptoms or issue he experienced was all in his head.

She had the bedside manner of steel wool and the warmth to match.

–

Even when he left her she refused to be human.

Using the Ex grandchildren as weapons in her arsenal of cruelty.

She fought him tooth and nail for alimony.

Until he relented and paid her, a worthy price at any amount to be put of her life forever.

-08/04/2024

Thank You

AnthonyLeave a comment

Originally Published 04/21/2024

Thank you for teaching me what love is not

Thank you for poisoning my every thought

Thank you for continuously using me

Thank you for emotionally abusing me

–

Thank you for not being generous to me

Thank you for taking advantage of all that you’d see

Thank you for mental slaps with a white glove

Thank you for teaching me I had unconditional love

–

Thank you for showing me all your hate

Thank you for showing me my own strength and faith

Thank you for doubting my every word

Thank you for demonstrating to me the absurd

–

Thank you for weaponizing love and sex

Thank you for empty accounts and bouncing checks

Thank you for the emasculations you gave

Thank you for the respect you’d never save

–

Thank you for not being in my life

Thank you for no longer being my wife

Thank you for the dog and pony

And thank you for that alimony…

-aaa

The End, of Us

AnthonyLeave a comment

It’s over

It’s done now

A done deal

I see how.

–

You cheated

The whole time

Disbelief

You’re a slime.

–

Just to think

I felt bad

In my guilt

It’s so sad.

–

I realize

After this

There’s nothing

That I miss.

–

All your lies

And gaslights

Half told truths

Restless nights.

–

It’s in vain

Nothing saved

You laid down

Bye I waved.

–

Now happy?

All alone

Bills and debts

On your own.

–

Hope you think

As you pray

Was it worth

All those lays???

-AAA 07/19/2024

I No Longer Dwell in Hell

Anthony14 Comments

Life with you was the purest hell

For the time with you I’d dwell

No longer trapped in your prison cell

I stopped buying the bullshit you’d sell

As I had rather disliked its smell

Free from the bounds of alimony as well

Much happier as you can tell

Beyond glad I broke your spell

Picked myself up from where I fell

Living my best life as all things gel…

-aaa

The Final Arrest of my Half-Wife (11/30/14)

AnthonyLeave a comment

She was arrested, again and if looks like she won’t be home for close to a year this time. I’m exhausted, scared, furious and frustrated.

—-

I left work early and met with her probation officer and found out what had happened. This is the seventh time she’s been picked up for shoplifting.

—-

This time, her probation was revoked because she broke almost every rule. She had a large purse, several bags and canvas bags with various items in them in her suv. This was after she told her PO that she was behaving. A surprise inspection led to the arrest.

—-

I plead her case even spending over an hour in her car going through all the bags and producing enough receipts from each to satisfy the officer which I did. I explained her health issues and PTSD she suffered the past abuse she had suffered also. I practically begged her but to no avail.

—-

I was instructed to return to the county jail to obtain the possessions that were on her person when she was arrested. I knew this would unfortunately mean 😢 I’d have to return with her mother.

—-

Later we make our way to the county jail. After repeatedly comforting her mother for the umpteenth time we arrive. She’s drinking from her thermos and I can smell the vodka on her breath (reminiscent of the DUI she had received some 6 months earlier which I had bailed her out from). I am instructed by her mom to remain in the (car) parking lot and that she’d return with the items.

—-

I wait and one hour goes by, two, three, almost four. I get out and make my way to the jail, the night air greets me with cruel November fingers.

—-

Inside, I find her mom passed out in the waiting room with the items we came for. I do my best and wake her so that we can leave.

—-

We stop and I grab a dinner (I’ll never ate) and a large coffee (for her). We finally get back home and her mom somewhat sobered up leaves.

—-

It’s 1:00 am and I stare at the items before me on the couch (which served as my bed for the past 3 1/2 years) a purse, a bag, a sweater and her laptop. I hold the sweater to my face and I can smell her and fresh warm tears stream down and all us a blur for a bit. This had become a common occurrence lately as her problems seem to have compounded.

—-

I turn on the laptop (per her instructions) as I needed to check emails because I’d have to sell items (on EBay) as I had times before to help make ends meet. Seems, Uncle Sam doesn’t grant social security to semi-permanent or any other persons who are in jail since they’re technically cared for there.

—-

Of course for those in a household needing that income to stay afloat and keep the lights on it poses problems. I look for the email addresses I was instructed (per the note she left me with her mom).

As I finish (it’s nearly 2 now) I know I need to sleep but I can’t.

—-

I look back at the 12 inch screen and think to myself (something that’s been nagging at me) about how much she’d never let me into this laptop pretty much ever unless she was in jail. I start going through folders and my heart stops.

—-

I get bad butterflies and my stomach touches the earth’s core… What follows is very reminiscent of what ended my first marriage. Emails reeking of unfaithfulness. Professions of love to an ex boyfriend of some 20 years ago. A person that she had frequently spoken of as friend and mentioned to me many times.

—-

The betrayal stung like 1000 needles. More warm tears and my mouth agape as I read an email from her mother that made me shake to the very core of my soul.

—-

“I’m beyond happy for you dear. I know you’ve always wanted a true love and now you have a soulmate. It’s only a matter of time until you’re out (precious jail stay). Don’t worry your man will wait. I’m just glad we’re fooling your fiancé. What a fool, he thinks you love him but you can dump him when your soulmate leaves his wife. Don’t worry I’ll pile on the tears and your fiancé will be none the wiser taking care of you and your home and your bills awaiting your arrival home.”

—-

I buckled a little but knuckled down clenching as I closed my eyes and my soul screamed into the abyss. More warm tears. This is it, this is the end, of us….

-aaa

Thank You

Anthony3 Comments

Thank you for teaching me what love is not

Thank you for poisoning my every thought

Thank you for continuously using me

Thank you for emotionally abusing me

–

Thank you for not being generous to me

Thank you for taking advantage of all that you’d see

Thank you for mental slaps with a white glove

Thank you for teaching me I had unconditional love

–

Thank you for showing me all your hate

Thank you for showing me my own strength and faith

Thank you for doubting my every word

Thank you for demonstrating to me the absurd

–

Thank you for weaponizing love and sex

Thank you for empty accounts and bouncing checks

Thank you for the emasculations you gave

Thank you for the respect you’d never save

–

Thank you for not being in my life

Thank you for no longer being my wife

Thank you for the dog and pony

And thank you for that alimony…

-aaa