Toupee Away!

There once was a woman from Spaulding

Who’s husband was rapidly balding

So she bought him a cheap wig

Slapping lipstick on a pig.

Though his appearance is still quite appalling…

-aaa

Originally Published 05/17/2024

Seeds…

There once was a bloke from Leeds

That came upon some seeds

Pondering what was found

Inserting himself in the ground 🙄

He later moved on to seedier deeds…

-aaa

Originally Published 05/16/2024

Carrot Parrot

Long ago I had a parrot

That was very obsessed carrots.

He’d screech and he’d squawk

In human and parrot talk.

Instead I should’ve gotten a ferret…

-aaa

Originally Published 05/10/2024

A Silly Set of Raikus

Let us sing a song.

With lyrics that are all wrong.

Sing it for too long.

Let us tap a dance.

While wearing our backwards pants.

As if in a trance.

Let us cook some food.

Using our gas range and hood.

That’ll be quite good.

Let us talk the talk.

while enjoying a brisk walk.

I know we won’t balk.

Let us end this rhyme.

It’s been a small uphill climb.

But it’s about time…

-aaa

Originally Published 05/04/2024

My Ritual Christmas Dance

Originally Published 04/26/2024

Christmas time, gifts family get togethers, warm feelings, all kinds of things going on that time of year. This past year I’ve lived with my family as I perform a life reboot for myself. During Christmas, the neighborhood I live in does ‘Christmas Lights’. It’s quite a spectacle, nearly all of the houses are dressed to the nines in holiday cheer. Lights, more lights, Christmas Trees, Reindeer, and still more lights. Reds, greens, whites, and any other color you can think of dancing about (too music in our display). It’s a lot of fun and a little difficult getting in and out of your house as this goes on with all the cars and whatnot traveling up and down our cul de sac. It’s quite beautiful and generally all who visit love it all. One December night, some who visited our front yard got more than they bargained for: a 50-year-old dancing in his underwear for all to see…

Ok let’s get to that cold December night where I looked the fool in front of a pretty extensive audience. Ritual time, it’s nearly 8:00 PM so: edibles in, music blaring and I’m preparing a bath. In my efforts to prepare to close out my night, I stupidly left the shades open in my room (which has two windows facing the street) I grab clothes and head to my bathroom and crank the water as hot as it’ll go. I disrobe and enjoy an epic hot bath with the music is jamming and singing along rocking to Jeff Beck. Life is great. As I finish my bath and get out dry off, I throw on a pair of my Scooby Doo boxer briefs on. All the while I forget that I essentially have a stage set in my bedroom for the neighborhood to see. I’m really buzzed now feeling relaxed, too relaxed as my guard is totally down now. In my skivvies I grab my Bluetooth speaker and head back to bedroom singing and swinging my torso like an idiot and I realize as there’s sudden shouting and applause and laughter (from outside). Cheeks red and burning, I realized I was apparently performing for a stunned audience of cars and a onlookers. My bedroom light is on and the shades are down it’s like I have a spotlight on me. I didn’t know what to do, my heart sinks to my feet and I had to think fast which was a bit of a challenge in the state I was in.

I didn’t know what to do so I threw myself on the ground (sniper avoidance style) and crawled on my belly to the other end of my bedroom nearest my drawer to grab a pair of pajamas and put them on as fast anyone could that was laying facedown on the floor. I’m so stoned at this point that I’m considering an encore performance (not!). I quickly closed my shades and turned down the lights chuckling to myself as I temper my odd cocktail of embarrassment, adrenaline, and the detached airiness that comes with indica related products when consumed.

Needless to say if it’s Christmas, Kwanza, Ramadan, Presidents’ Day or Groundhog Day for that matter, when my evening rituals take place, the shades are shut and the lamp off. My skivvy gyration was a one-off performance… I’d settle for laughing at myself when I set down phone and attempt to answer my glasses…. 🤣

-aaa

Toupee Away!

There once was a woman from Spaulding

Who’s husband was rapidly balding

So she bought him a cheap wig

Slapping lipstick on a pig.

Though his appearance is still quite appalling…

-aaa

Seeds…

There once was a bloke from Leeds

That came upon some seeds

Pondering what was found

Inserting himself in the ground 🙄

He later moved on to seedier deeds…

-aaa

A Quadrille?

Forty-four words isn’t a lot

I must use all the talent that I’ve got

To get my point across

So my audience is not at a loss

I count the words as I write

Doing my best to be contrite

So, here goes nothing…

-aaa

Side Dish

Originally Published 04/05/2024

Peel me, I’m a potato for eternity.

Remove my skin and set me free.

Slice me and dice me.

Use all your creativity.

Just drop me and chop me.

Into a boiling seasoned sea.

Filled with oil or water and a steady heat.

Satiate the hungered with this culinary feat.

You can hook me and cook me.

With a sizzle I can feel and see.

Season me with some pepper and salt.

I taste delicious and it’s all your fault.

Portioned just right for a very hungry group.

Don’t over cook me or I transform to goop.

With heat turned down taste can’t be beat.

All my eaters are in for a yummy treat.

Place me on plate with a few of my friends.

Vegetable delight side dish is how this ends.

-aaa

A Silly Set of Raikus

Let us sing a song.

With lyrics that are all wrong.

Sing it for too long.

Let us tap a dance.

While wearing our backwards pants.

As if in a trance.

Let us cook some food.

Using our gas range and hood.

That’ll be quite good.

Let us talk the talk.

while enjoying a brisk walk.

I know we won’t balk.

Let us end this rhyme.

It’s been a small uphill climb.

But it’s about time…

-aaa

My Ritual Christmas Dance

Christmas time, gifts family get togethers, warm feelings, all kinds of things going on that time of year. This past year I’ve lived with my family as I perform a life reboot for myself. During Christmas, the neighborhood I live in does ‘Christmas Lights’. It’s quite a spectacle, nearly all of the houses are dressed to the nines in holiday cheer. Lights, more lights, Christmas Trees, Reindeer, and still more lights. Reds, greens, whites, and any other color you can think of dancing about (too music in our display). It’s a lot of fun and a little difficult getting in and out of your house as this goes on with all the cars and whatnot traveling up and down our cul de sac. It’s quite beautiful and generally all who visit love it all. One December night, some who visited our front yard got more than they bargained for: a 50-year-old dancing in his underwear for all to see…

Ok let’s get to that cold December night where I looked the fool in front of a pretty extensive audience. Ritual time, it’s nearly 8:00 PM so: edibles in, music blaring and I’m preparing a bath. In my efforts to prepare to close out my night, I stupidly left the shades open in my room (which has two windows facing the street) I grab clothes and head to my bathroom and crank the water as hot as it’ll go. I disrobe and enjoy an epic hot bath with the music is jamming and singing along rocking to Jeff Beck. Life is great. As I finish my bath and get out dry off, I throw on a pair of my Scooby Doo boxer briefs on. All the while I forget that I essentially have a stage set in my bedroom for the neighborhood to see. I’m really buzzed now feeling relaxed, too relaxed as my guard is totally down now. In my skivvies I grab my Bluetooth speaker and head back to bedroom singing and swinging my torso like an idiot and I realize as there’s sudden shouting and applause and laughter (from outside). Cheeks red and burning, I realized I was apparently performing for a stunned audience of cars and a onlookers. My bedroom light is on and the shades are down it’s like I have a spotlight on me. I didn’t know what to do, my heart sinks to my feet and I had to think fast which was a bit of a challenge in the state I was in.

I didn’t know what to do so I threw myself on the ground (sniper avoidance style) and crawled on my belly to the other end of my bedroom nearest my drawer to grab a pair of pajamas and put them on as fast anyone could that was laying facedown on the floor. I’m so stoned at this point that I’m considering an encore performance (not!). I quickly closed my shades and turned down the lights chuckling to myself as I temper my odd cocktail of embarrassment, adrenaline, and the detached airiness that comes with indica related products when consumed.

Needless to say if it’s Christmas, Kwanza, Ramadan, Presidents’ Day or Groundhog Day for that matter, when my evening rituals take place, the shades are shut and the lamp off. My skivvy gyration was a one-off performance… I’d settle for laughing at myself when I set down phone and attempt to answer my glasses…. 🤣

-aaa