Use me
abuse me
and you’ll lose me
–
Flake me
Fake me
And you’ll mistake me
–
Hurt me
Shirk me
And I’ll dessert thee
–
Push me
Prod me
And flog me.
–
I thought you were the one
Instead you used me for fun
And now I’m done…
-aaa
Originally Published 05/18/2024
It’s over
It’s done now
A done deal
I see how.
–
You cheated
The whole time
Disbelief
You’re a slime.
–
Just to think
I felt bad
In my guilt
It’s so sad.
–
I realize
After this
There’s nothing
That I miss.
–
All your lies
And gaslights
Half told truths
Restless nights.
–
It’s in vain
Nothing saved
You laid down
Bye I waved.
–
Now happy?
All alone
Bills and debts
On your own.
–
Hope you think
As you pray
Was it worth
All those lays???
-AAA 07/19/2024
Use me
abuse me
and you’ll lose me
–
Flake me
Fake me
And you’ll mistake me
–
Hurt me
Shirk me
And I’ll dessert thee
–
Push me
Prod me
And flog me.
–
I thought you were the one
Instead you used me for fun
And now I’m done…
-aaa
Originally published 03/31/2024
Sitting alone and she’s hours late, again. Out shopping despite my pleadings not to, again. Three hours late so far, I hope she’s not in trouble, again.
She’s a good person and doesn’t mean any of it. Please hear my prayer closely and distinctly. Dear God, I pray to you on all that is great in the world, for her safe return home. Shes not perfect but bless her the same. Please, if I have anything good or special to be bestowed upon me, give it to her instead. She needs it more than me. I’m not a martyr I just want her to be ok. Coping with another extended stay in jail and being alone would be unbearable. Please hear my prayer, Amen…
-aaa
Below is my brainstorm list along with reassurances to myself as I prepared to make a grand exodus out of the most toxic relationship of my entire life. Planned and executed over just 8 days…(February 2022).
Todo for New Life
-Get new bank acct.
-Make arrangements for direct deposit for final checks to go there.
-Get passport.
-Speak to LDSS see if the writing gig can continue.
-interview for job at Joel’s work.
-order new debit card for current acct.
-notify post office to close PO Box.
-cash $250 check from mom and pop for bd to get to Cali.
-refill all prescriptions that I can.
-pack suitcase and gym bag for trip.
-leave Thursday night if at all possible or early Friday.
-Try and get close to 5k altogether, see if you can bill a lot for final LDSS check.
-New cell service, or sim and new #.
-Car insurance.
-Register car in Cali.
-pay Feb car pmt.
-change address for LDSS and NHV.
-change address for BofA.
-build 2 laptops for Pima.
-tell Curtis that Pap wants their desktop back build new LAS?
-turn in door card at gym.
-breathe it’s going to be ok, everything is.
4 days to go, man, you got this!!!!!
-aaa
